I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize