I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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