i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
