So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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