i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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