I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
