problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize