The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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