OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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