no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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