How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
