I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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