Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
