i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize