i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
