I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
