How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
