how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
