when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
