nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
