I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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