How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
