my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
