I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
