i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your penis caused this!
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