I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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