the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Acid is not a monday night drug
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
