Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he told me I talked like a deaf person
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
