My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
