Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
