I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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