He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
