please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
