Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
