why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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