Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
