I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
