do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
