I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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