ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
