He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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