just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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