its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
