Please, let me fuck your mom
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
