I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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