If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
