I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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