dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
