Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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