he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize