Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
