Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
