There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Slut skills are useful in every country.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
