The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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