Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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