Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
