it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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