so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
