I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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