I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
