One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
