I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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