If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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