I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found the puke drawer
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
