Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Randomize
