okay pat passed out under dana's car
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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