I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I AM VODKA MAN
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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