I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
