youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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